Love is Sacrifice
There was once a time in my life when I absolutely despised Valentine’s Day. It was in elementary school that my torrid relationship with the holiday began. Attending a predominantly wealthy school, many of my friends would receive lavish gifts from their parents, sent to them from the front office. My heart would jump every time there was a knock at the classroom door. “Could it be for me” I would think to myself, only to realize it was for some other lucky student whose parents could afford the time, and money required to spoil them so. I dreaded the class card exchange as well. Back then, everyone DID NOT get a card from every student, and if you happen to be so lucky to receive a card from one of the elites in the clique you were never invited to be a part of, then your world was in a sense “made” for the day. Such pressure, excitement, nervousness, and utter disillusionment all circling this one day, and none of it even had anything to do with true love in the first place.
In the evangelical world, it is taught to us that God is our first and foremost love. He created us, loves us unconditionally, and sent His son to die for us, all so that we could carry out the grand plan He has set out for each of us. His is the model of the truest of loves; ultimate sacrifice. Throughout my life, I didn’t always have the best luck when it came to a worldly type of love. I was ready to give in, but others just weren’t ready to receive. Fortunately for me, the two brushes I’ve had with it would change the trajectory of my life forever.
I’ll never forget that night. It was a Wednesday, right after church. My brother, sister, and I all sat around our uneven kitchen table, on puke green bench seating, surrounded by the worst blue floral wallpaper. We were listening to my dad play back the answering machine. It was our mother. Crying on the phone, begging my dad to bring her some food and clean underwear. We hadn’t seen her for days prior to her call. She was known to leave us for days at a time, only to show back up like nothing happened (that’s what drugs and a broken heart can make you do). It seemed like my dad was going to ignore her request, but I begged him to let me get her stuff together, so we could go and find her. I thank God that he didn’t tell me no. I quickly gathered some food and made sure to get her white, polyester undergarments and placed them all into a brown paper bag from the commissary. We jumped into our big brown van and began the search.
We drove all over the west side of town, in an area known as The Clovis Apartments. We stopped at a gas station on the corner for my dad to go in and ask around, only to stumble across her driver's license on the ground of the parking lot. It was like a scavenger hunt, and we had just found our first clue. We continued on until my dad found the house she was staying in. She never came out to speak to us, but she received her brown bag, filled with food and her unmentionables. As we all drove back home without her, I knew then that my father would soon be my sole guardian, and would remain my first love (other than Jesus).
Romans 5:6-8 (TLB)6 When we were utterly helpless, with no way of escape, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners who had no use for him. 7 Even if we were good, we really wouldn’t expect anyone to die for us, though, of course, that might be barely possible. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
When I read this verse, the first thing that comes to mind is the ultimate sacrifice. The second thought is unworthiness. We as humans, in and of ourselves were never worthy of God’s true love. We were of no significant use to Him, but in His tender grace He sent Jesus to give of Himself so that we may know true, everlasting love, and live with a purpose. In 1 Peter 4:8 it reads “Above all else, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins.” Let me tell ya… for a man to basically give up his life, his desires, wants and needs to take care of three children who could really do nothing for him, that was quite the example of true love and sacrifice. Most defiantly Valentine’s Day worthy.
My relationship with my father is a special one. Through all the trouble and trials we faced as a family, he and I grew closer. Even though the seasons when I made it difficult to love me, he still did. When we recognize the sacrifices made by others on our behalf, it causes us to think of, treat, and love that person differently. There is only one other person to this date that I have been able to love that deeply, and that is Donny ( go ahead and swoon and say “oh geez” I love my man ok!!).
When Donny and I got married, he made a choice as all men do when they get married. He not only chose to marry and commit himself to me but Nevaeh as well. Donny was only twenty-four, and Nae was eleven. If anyone had asked him even two years prior, where he saw himself headed, I’m sure being a husband, and immediate dad to a pre-teen wouldn’t be what he would have said. There it is again… laying down one's own desires, to take on and love others. However, in this situation, I had plenty to offer, and I was of GREAT SERVICE to him ( ya’ll know I just had to throw that in!).
True love isn’t about a manmade holiday, buying or receiving gifts, and fancy dinners (even though I still love all of those) it’s about selflessness and sacrifice. The greatest love of all time understood this. True love doesn’t have one look and can come from a variety of people. In John 15:13 it reads “ There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for his friends”. If you have never experienced this type of love, let me encourage you to run to the arms of our heavenly father. He stands waiting to love you beyond anything you can imagine. On this Valentine’s Day, choose to love others selflessly, expecting nothing of them in return. That is true love at its finest. Happy forever Valentine’s Day.
